I've had too many drafts of this post. I never want to be one to tell people what to believe because we all believe in different things and although I've lived in a small town I've known enough people to know that I respect everyone for their differences. meeting different people teach you to value your beliefs.
I've never been one to be ultra religious. it's not because I don't want to be it's simply because my relationship with religion is one that I feel is between myself and my religion. being quite honest, it took something impactful to happen to bring me closer to my religion.I'm catholic. in all honesty, as much as I didn't want this blog to be about my faith originally, but I want a way of tracking my own spiritual growth, and maybe this can help someone else who has been in the same situation I have been in. I think I should start from the beginning.
At a young age, I was sent to catholic school and in all honesty I had the most amazing faith in god. I had the most amazing priest and I can honestly say that I would have never chosen anyone different to be my spiritual guide. I learned a lot about God during this time, however, I was young and I completely always underestimated the power of prayer. I can honestly tell you all that as you get older you truly learn what religion is and it's something beautiful. having a relationship with god is something that is so special because it's so personal and god has been there through everything with me. he's been there at my absolute worse more than my absolute best and in all respect I believe I owe him more than that. I want to continue my story however, and the reason is that too many events have happened today to actually make me want to blog about this.
As I moved away from my catholic school and towards my public one, all I had learned had slipped through my mind. this is unfortunate but regardless of this, God has given me so many constant blessings. I have so many things to be grateful for. I have so much liveliness despite all the things I've gone through. This isn't to say that I've gone through more than the average person, but it is to say that I have faced my own hardships. I have faced circumstances that I could not control, some that nearly broke me as a person, but I constantly went back to what I was taught. Regardless of myself straying from being as close, I really do believe that God has been there through absolutely everything I've gone through and he never presented me a challenge that I couldn't overcome. I can't be open about my challenges simply because they are all too personal, but I can tell you that it has shaped me to be strong. I would constantly tell my friends that I felt so alone but in all honesty today in adoration, I realized I never was alone and this made me cry because I have had always had God and I know he listens to what I have to say. I know he hears me. I know he sees me. I know that he understands what I say because just when I would think it was getting to be all too much, He would send me a sign.
Now I'm in college, and I've told this to you all in a separate blog and there is a catholic center.There are so many amazing people there. They're all super nice and it's nice to be able to go deeper into my relationship with God while making friendships. The absolute turning point was this winter break. I had an unfortunate event happen in my life. I was in New Orleans. My mom decided to take me to a cathedral. I sat there and just had this honest conversation with God thanking him and asking him to help me through what I was going through and like always I got an answer. I sat there crying because things were seemingly too hard. However in a sense through everything God has held my hand and led me in the right direction. As I learn more about God, the more I want to strive to be a better person.
The reason my day relates to this is because:
1) My mom called me today and we talked about faith and she told me that she always wants be to be better than she is. She wants me to have more faith. It's only fair that I honor her wish not only for her but for myself.
2) Today, I met this wonderful professor who has been such an absolute help. Despite me feeling that being undeclared in college has been an absolute question mark she has presented me answers ones that are determining my future. I believe God placed her in my life because I asked one of the most common questions: What is my future going to look like?
3) I sat outside today and admired the little things and I sat with my friend and all we talked about was our conflicts. I turned to her and said: " But can you believe how good we still have it?" and she agreed. Sometimes we always get caught up in so many different things and we forget the small things, we forget our spirituality, and most importantly we always forget to be grateful.
I'm not catering this blog to only Catholics. It's hard for me to express this in any other way, but through everything you may go through. I hope that your spirituality or religion guides you as God has guided me. I am absolutely grateful for all the blessings and the education I receive. I hope that God can take the love I have for him and hand it to other people. I hope that religion is a way for me to constantly become a better person. I strive to be a better person and I believe that even through my faith was tested in all my challenges just as I was regaining a stronger one I never lost it. I hope you never lose faith in whatever you may believe in. Whatever keeps you closest to your spiritual peace hold it close to you good or bad things may happen in life, but that is one thing that never changes.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
blog post ten.
hello,
i haven't actually posted on here in a while and as you can probably guess. i've been pretty busy. i haven't given up writing as a matter of fact, it's rather the opposite. anyways as much as this helps you ( or so i can hope) it also helps me. i kind of have a straightened outlook by blogging on here.
today i want to discuss an interesting subject to most and that is the subject of love. ( sounded so corny i know)
but i have felt the need to post this a while back simply because as a college student i kind of have done my own field work on it. in a sense majority of my friends are single and let's say that the good 80% of them complain about it.
the week of finals amidst our procrastination in a dinner session, it became girls vs. boys and it was on that very subject.
the debate was quite simple: if a girl and a guy make eye contact. who should approach the other person first? clearly girls felt that the guys should come up and ask the girl for her number and clearly the guys felt that it was okay for the girl to do this. anyways it got relatively interesting as far as emotions go. girls say that girls get more hurt and the guys claim they have emotions. did it change my outlook on things ? perhaps not. it did answer one thing to me which is probably clear for both girls and guys: we often times go for what is wrong for us.
girls : are into the bad boy persona or the jerk persona and in the case of college perhaps the frat boy persona
guys: go for the easy girls ( in some cases) or the pretty girls.
could i be wrong? of course i can i'm never one to claim that i hold the truth because i honestly don't.
i' have never had a boyfriend and for all i know this could just be the people i associate myself with. honestly, have i had the opportunity of not being single? yes i have and i can tell you that i wasn't attracted to most of those guys, i was into the jerk way too many times. i can't deny it because it is the truth. am i shallow? yes i am and often times i'm told that i have a right to be ( due to youth not looks). has any guy ever caught my attention because of his personality? yes there was this one instance but this blog isn't about that ( let's say it was short lived in cause you were curious ). just think of it this way: often times we are single simply because we're looking in the wrong place and to be quite honest i now rethink the guys i like because i simply doubt my taste. i obviously judge a book by it's cover. i clearly am too old school and i do live in an illusion where the guy will approach me ask for my number and hit it off. my question to you is it an illusion to have the full package? or do we as women live in a society where we have to make the first move?
but here's the other thing often times love occurs when we least expect it. it's something we can't force or expect and as a girl who's waiting on her prince charming i can tell you it from my own personal experience around my friends. nearly none of them we're searching and if they were it ended quickly. so do we simply put those dreams on pause and pursue our own? that depends on you. to answer this question personally i'm telling you that it is best to pursue your own and allow things to happen. believe me i hate being that person to say this to you as much as you hate reading it because it is often times what you hear. believe me it is what i hear as well.
can i conclude this blog post effectively, i honestly can't but here's another thing.: I'm skeptical of most guys. there i said it, you guys out there have made me skeptical but then again i watch too many chick flicks and read too many romance novels. in my field work, i have grown increasingly skeptical and only to find that when i have no expectations it is when i am surprisingly please ( this applies to a lot more things in life other than love). do these movies paint us a false picture of love? in a way they do but in a way i still believe that love is something magical. in all of the few places i travel when i see an old couple ... i do still believe that can be one day ... but then again this is an 18 year old girl blogging and who am i to say anything when i have yet to encounter it personally.... my inexperience is something i do not take pride in and as for that boy with the personality... i hope that he can read this.. yes i just wrote a huge indirect in a sense.
jackie.
i haven't actually posted on here in a while and as you can probably guess. i've been pretty busy. i haven't given up writing as a matter of fact, it's rather the opposite. anyways as much as this helps you ( or so i can hope) it also helps me. i kind of have a straightened outlook by blogging on here.
today i want to discuss an interesting subject to most and that is the subject of love. ( sounded so corny i know)
but i have felt the need to post this a while back simply because as a college student i kind of have done my own field work on it. in a sense majority of my friends are single and let's say that the good 80% of them complain about it.
the week of finals amidst our procrastination in a dinner session, it became girls vs. boys and it was on that very subject.
the debate was quite simple: if a girl and a guy make eye contact. who should approach the other person first? clearly girls felt that the guys should come up and ask the girl for her number and clearly the guys felt that it was okay for the girl to do this. anyways it got relatively interesting as far as emotions go. girls say that girls get more hurt and the guys claim they have emotions. did it change my outlook on things ? perhaps not. it did answer one thing to me which is probably clear for both girls and guys: we often times go for what is wrong for us.
girls : are into the bad boy persona or the jerk persona and in the case of college perhaps the frat boy persona
guys: go for the easy girls ( in some cases) or the pretty girls.
could i be wrong? of course i can i'm never one to claim that i hold the truth because i honestly don't.
i' have never had a boyfriend and for all i know this could just be the people i associate myself with. honestly, have i had the opportunity of not being single? yes i have and i can tell you that i wasn't attracted to most of those guys, i was into the jerk way too many times. i can't deny it because it is the truth. am i shallow? yes i am and often times i'm told that i have a right to be ( due to youth not looks). has any guy ever caught my attention because of his personality? yes there was this one instance but this blog isn't about that ( let's say it was short lived in cause you were curious ). just think of it this way: often times we are single simply because we're looking in the wrong place and to be quite honest i now rethink the guys i like because i simply doubt my taste. i obviously judge a book by it's cover. i clearly am too old school and i do live in an illusion where the guy will approach me ask for my number and hit it off. my question to you is it an illusion to have the full package? or do we as women live in a society where we have to make the first move?
but here's the other thing often times love occurs when we least expect it. it's something we can't force or expect and as a girl who's waiting on her prince charming i can tell you it from my own personal experience around my friends. nearly none of them we're searching and if they were it ended quickly. so do we simply put those dreams on pause and pursue our own? that depends on you. to answer this question personally i'm telling you that it is best to pursue your own and allow things to happen. believe me i hate being that person to say this to you as much as you hate reading it because it is often times what you hear. believe me it is what i hear as well.
can i conclude this blog post effectively, i honestly can't but here's another thing.: I'm skeptical of most guys. there i said it, you guys out there have made me skeptical but then again i watch too many chick flicks and read too many romance novels. in my field work, i have grown increasingly skeptical and only to find that when i have no expectations it is when i am surprisingly please ( this applies to a lot more things in life other than love). do these movies paint us a false picture of love? in a way they do but in a way i still believe that love is something magical. in all of the few places i travel when i see an old couple ... i do still believe that can be one day ... but then again this is an 18 year old girl blogging and who am i to say anything when i have yet to encounter it personally.... my inexperience is something i do not take pride in and as for that boy with the personality... i hope that he can read this.. yes i just wrote a huge indirect in a sense.
jackie.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
blog post NINE!
hello everyone.
it's me and i know i haven't posted in a long time but.... i have a good reason to now.
honestly i'm in a college library trying to piece together what happened last night (not in that way).
so last night as some of you who know me know as the one direction concert. yes, it was the most epic night of my life. go on and judge me. i'm a first year college student attending a one direction concert. honestly it's so much more than a band.
so to begin with ....
we have to begin where it started and how i became a fan....
i stumbled upon a photo of harry styles one day on a fashion website. it's used dominantly in the U.S and the U.K. i was a huge justin bieber fan and there was a gossip site updating constantly on his whereabouts. one day i checked the website and it was filled with this boyband.... another jonas brothers... oh no! i googled harry styles and turns out he was part of that boy band. all of this happened towards the end of 2011. no one, absolutely no one in my high school had any clue who harry styles was or his band. i know this because i had a cover of harry styles as my binder cover.everyone just stared at it having no clue. what makes you beautiful came out during winter break and it was the song i listened to all.the.time. ask my mom. she'll tell you. she knows every single lyric.
anyways my godmother... if she's reading this (:
got me the album shipped from england for christmas and it was probably the best gift i got. it even has a sticker indicating it was made in England.
anyways... i stayed this huge fan. i did have the phase where louis was lewis and where niall was neal but no one knew who they were so did it really matter? soon enough i learned all their names.
it was the Up All Night tour. their very first debut in the US. I remember it clearly.... because my friend had tickets and she was going to offer them to me but she wanted to go. i was younger so i cried in my room. i cried for hours.
" why don't i have tickets? i've known about them before any of my classmates have"
"why is life so unfair"
i'm a bit dramatic i must admit.
anyways then take me home came and i met my amazing best friend because she understood me we both understood how much we loved them. it was music that made us bond.
anyways Take Me Home was coming around. we literally tried every single radio competition... and nothing... another tour.
being completely honest i cried once more because my mom basically drove me to Atlanta which is where all my friends were taking these close videos to them at their hotel. AND my mom decided to say
" I think we're heading the wrong DIRECTION"
needless to say cue in the tissues....
and subtract the one direction piece.
music is something that brings people together.
it's something that unites us with it.
my mom asks why i listen to music so much....
this is why.
she's still my best friend. i attended the movie for them and honestly it was such an amazing experience i bonded with so many fans. age wasn't a factor we all understood how it was like to be such a huge fan. we all wanted the same things and that was to see those five boys....
as a fangirl.. they're the most positive role models i've encountered. they haven't done anything (tremendously) crazy.
their next tour was Where We Are! and they've only declared the international dates at the time... let me tell you how dedicated i am.
i was willing to travel to my home country of Uruguay to go see them on my graduating year close to the date of graduation. literally 12 days i was (I'm thankful I didn't because.. i had A's & B's but don't tell my mom that).
so finally after months they announced Oct 1 2014 Atlanta........
i had to pull strings with my grandmother who i owe a massive thank you and even recorded a thank you from harry himself thanking all the family members who bought tickets for the fans to see them (:.
my ticket was on the floor..... let that sink in.
not only was i going to see them, but i was going to see them up close and personal.
i was super excited and i honestly found out on christmas i had the tickets. i waited from december up until yesterday to see harry styles.
so as all of this was happening..
as i watched harry styles on stage...
as i have to decide what the next steps in my life are...
i decided broadcast journalism. as much as harry styles is attractive and he's selling out arena's it would mean the world to me to have an interview with them and know the story behind the music, tours and fans. it would be amazing. it would be such an experience to see them first hand ( harry if you 're ever reading this... i hope you'll be my first interview and all those four boys)
but as that idea ran through my mind..
as i have mentioned or maybe i haven't cancer is something that hits home to me all the time. it's something i experienced with those i love most and something that needs a cure.
while i was having my ticket i felt blessed and grateful.
as i said music connects people and i want nothing more than to give back. i want nothing more than to give the experience i had to a child who is suffering from cancer or has suffered from cancer and not even cancer any disease.. not even one direction any artists they want to go see. they fight a constant battle.
as long as i have been a fan i know people who probably deserved that ticket more than i did not because i wasn't a big enough fan because they've gone through more battles then i ever have at such a young age.
i want to make a difference in this world. i want to leave some sort of imprint.
yes harry styles blew me a kiss last night.. yes it was the absolute best night of my life hands down but what can i give back from it? what can i contribute to the fans ? what connects us together regradless? it's the music.
i want to give someone the night i had. i want someone to feel that feeling that their real people. i want someone to get the kiss i got from harry. but most of all
i want to make a change.
i want to take all my experiences and give back to the world.
and maybe one direction is the way i can do this or maybe it isn't all i know is i wish that those fans who can't go had the chance i had.
i was super excited and i honestly found out on christmas i had the tickets. i waited from december up until yesterday to see harry styles.
so as all of this was happening..
as i watched harry styles on stage...
as i have to decide what the next steps in my life are...
i decided broadcast journalism. as much as harry styles is attractive and he's selling out arena's it would mean the world to me to have an interview with them and know the story behind the music, tours and fans. it would be amazing. it would be such an experience to see them first hand ( harry if you 're ever reading this... i hope you'll be my first interview and all those four boys)
but as that idea ran through my mind..
as i have mentioned or maybe i haven't cancer is something that hits home to me all the time. it's something i experienced with those i love most and something that needs a cure.
while i was having my ticket i felt blessed and grateful.
as i said music connects people and i want nothing more than to give back. i want nothing more than to give the experience i had to a child who is suffering from cancer or has suffered from cancer and not even cancer any disease.. not even one direction any artists they want to go see. they fight a constant battle.
as long as i have been a fan i know people who probably deserved that ticket more than i did not because i wasn't a big enough fan because they've gone through more battles then i ever have at such a young age.
i want to make a difference in this world. i want to leave some sort of imprint.
yes harry styles blew me a kiss last night.. yes it was the absolute best night of my life hands down but what can i give back from it? what can i contribute to the fans ? what connects us together regradless? it's the music.
i want to give someone the night i had. i want someone to feel that feeling that their real people. i want someone to get the kiss i got from harry. but most of all
i want to make a change.
i want to take all my experiences and give back to the world.
and maybe one direction is the way i can do this or maybe it isn't all i know is i wish that those fans who can't go had the chance i had.
Friday, August 29, 2014
blog post eight.
so as you all know or some of you know and some of you don't.
i'm in college.
it's overwhelming and it has been such a positive experience.
a lot of work and a lot of new friends and all these new experiences.
so as being an only child and honestly only having my mother my whole life. it has gotten hard for me to let go of being at home. it has been a rough experience for me to try and move on but... i know i need to do this.
i need to know i can be on my own. i need to learn to not only be myself but embrace it. it will only make me a stronger person and spending this week on campus at my friends dorm has opened my eyes to many things and i love my mother don't get me wrong and i'll miss her dearly ( even though she's only an hour away) but it's timing and timing is essential to most things in life and now it's my time to move it's my time to focus and be a better person then i was the day before. i love every aspect of this change in my life and sooner or later i'm going to have to move on.
it's something that feels as if i'm letting go of everyone who was back at home and embracing new people but it's not that. i love everyone at home they shape me. they've been there through thick and thin and through all the stuff that's happened to me. through every tear and every smile and i love them all for that. i love seeing them but i basically live on campus already. i don't get home until 9pm and usually my friends are living their own lives which is ok and it's amazing i'm so happy for all of them but it's time i live my own. it's time for me to let go and it's certainly time for me to learn to embrace this new side of what i'm going into.
they'll always be a part of me and for that i'm forever grateful and as painful as it is to start i so have to. i can't make decisions based on other people. it's something hard but maybe you guys will understand what i'm trying to say. it's an amazing journey and my focus has to be solely on books and reading and studying and maybe sometime in between my friends will try and make time for me as i have done for them but let's just see how that goes.
just some tips of mine.
i'd rather not speak of
lots of love and happiness
jackie.
i'm in college.
it's overwhelming and it has been such a positive experience.
a lot of work and a lot of new friends and all these new experiences.
so as being an only child and honestly only having my mother my whole life. it has gotten hard for me to let go of being at home. it has been a rough experience for me to try and move on but... i know i need to do this.
i need to know i can be on my own. i need to learn to not only be myself but embrace it. it will only make me a stronger person and spending this week on campus at my friends dorm has opened my eyes to many things and i love my mother don't get me wrong and i'll miss her dearly ( even though she's only an hour away) but it's timing and timing is essential to most things in life and now it's my time to move it's my time to focus and be a better person then i was the day before. i love every aspect of this change in my life and sooner or later i'm going to have to move on.
it's something that feels as if i'm letting go of everyone who was back at home and embracing new people but it's not that. i love everyone at home they shape me. they've been there through thick and thin and through all the stuff that's happened to me. through every tear and every smile and i love them all for that. i love seeing them but i basically live on campus already. i don't get home until 9pm and usually my friends are living their own lives which is ok and it's amazing i'm so happy for all of them but it's time i live my own. it's time for me to let go and it's certainly time for me to learn to embrace this new side of what i'm going into.
they'll always be a part of me and for that i'm forever grateful and as painful as it is to start i so have to. i can't make decisions based on other people. it's something hard but maybe you guys will understand what i'm trying to say. it's an amazing journey and my focus has to be solely on books and reading and studying and maybe sometime in between my friends will try and make time for me as i have done for them but let's just see how that goes.
just some tips of mine.
i'd rather not speak of
lots of love and happiness
jackie.
Friday, July 11, 2014
blog post seven.
i don't care about a lot of sports. i don't watch baseball or basketball or football. there's one particular sport being born Uruguayan that i absolutely care about and that is soccer. you can go ahead and say that playing the sport myself has influenced me to take a particular liking to it but also an understanding of the sport and since it is the world cup it is only fair that i blog about my team. the small yet humble country of 3 million people that is known as Uruguay.
personally i don't remember much of my own country. i was brought to the lovely town of Kearny,New Jersey when i was approximately 5 ( my mom and i debate my age on a constant basis). i don't remember much but being younger i do remember my father who would bring me to the stadium to see some of the games. i was on his shoulders and i can't tell you who was playing but i do know i partook in that. still i didn't think much of soccer. i live with my mother now and as i became a freshman in high school my mother decided that i wasn't doing much physical activity and although my mother is from the lovely state of New York she takes pride in her Uruguayan ties. i was forced to play soccer. i was skeptical at first being quite honest and soon enough i learned basic skills and the rules and i made good friends. it just so happened it was the year of the world cup. my mom keeps me close to Uruguay by sometimes cooking Uruguayan food but my grandparents discuss the politics around me and my grandfather enforces that i only speak spanish around him since his english is not good. he does know english but around family he speaks spanish. i also made a friend on the team who was the best player and a die hard soccer fan
so i watched my first match and i was excited i began to learn the players name. at the time my most favorite player was diego forlan not only because he made the most goals but because he had these blue eyes and blonde hair that made him stand out from the team. my second favorite ( now my absolute first) was luis suarez and some of my others were diego lugano ( he always had this passion the field... he knew that our country was relying on him) and fernando muslera ( he's an amazing goalie). soon i would try and watch every single game... and i did. i began having my own pre game rituals...( which i still partake in) i listen to a certain song and i'd even paint my face sometimes. well i became so passionate i'd play our national anthem all the time i'd beg my mom for a shirt and i learned all the players name. as we got closer and closer to the finals it was the game between Uruguay and Ghana and my favorite player Suarez blocked the ball with his hand. i was in shock and i admired his actions. i thought that what he did he did it for his team. Suarez has absolutely been the backbone to the Uruguayan soccer team. his passion is displayed on and off the field. anyways every win and every kick meant so much. i felt like then i really was embracing my ties to my country.
i feel that being in America for so long has impacted my ties to being Uruguayan and at times i forget the lovely country i am from. when i watch soccer i feel as if i am one with them. i celebrate my little accent (thankfully that i haven't lost).
but what i want to address is Suarez's actions in the game between Italy and Uruguay. he did get a four month suspension and my words probably don't change that. honestly it does not change how i view him. i feel that in times of desperation and on a world arena we all do things that are not a true reflection of who we are. however i still can defend the theory that it was an accident however this being not the first time i understand the punishment. was it excessive? yes. the man who broke neymar's vertabrea was not punished and he possibly could have ended neymar's career. all suarez did was leave a bite mark that was not huge and will not impact the players career.
anyways
the point of this blog is
that wherever you may be from or wherever you come from
cherish it
do things to make you feel closer to your culture
don't get lost in American culture
celebrate your own
it's something that makes you unique.
personally i don't remember much of my own country. i was brought to the lovely town of Kearny,New Jersey when i was approximately 5 ( my mom and i debate my age on a constant basis). i don't remember much but being younger i do remember my father who would bring me to the stadium to see some of the games. i was on his shoulders and i can't tell you who was playing but i do know i partook in that. still i didn't think much of soccer. i live with my mother now and as i became a freshman in high school my mother decided that i wasn't doing much physical activity and although my mother is from the lovely state of New York she takes pride in her Uruguayan ties. i was forced to play soccer. i was skeptical at first being quite honest and soon enough i learned basic skills and the rules and i made good friends. it just so happened it was the year of the world cup. my mom keeps me close to Uruguay by sometimes cooking Uruguayan food but my grandparents discuss the politics around me and my grandfather enforces that i only speak spanish around him since his english is not good. he does know english but around family he speaks spanish. i also made a friend on the team who was the best player and a die hard soccer fan
so i watched my first match and i was excited i began to learn the players name. at the time my most favorite player was diego forlan not only because he made the most goals but because he had these blue eyes and blonde hair that made him stand out from the team. my second favorite ( now my absolute first) was luis suarez and some of my others were diego lugano ( he always had this passion the field... he knew that our country was relying on him) and fernando muslera ( he's an amazing goalie). soon i would try and watch every single game... and i did. i began having my own pre game rituals...( which i still partake in) i listen to a certain song and i'd even paint my face sometimes. well i became so passionate i'd play our national anthem all the time i'd beg my mom for a shirt and i learned all the players name. as we got closer and closer to the finals it was the game between Uruguay and Ghana and my favorite player Suarez blocked the ball with his hand. i was in shock and i admired his actions. i thought that what he did he did it for his team. Suarez has absolutely been the backbone to the Uruguayan soccer team. his passion is displayed on and off the field. anyways every win and every kick meant so much. i felt like then i really was embracing my ties to my country.
i feel that being in America for so long has impacted my ties to being Uruguayan and at times i forget the lovely country i am from. when i watch soccer i feel as if i am one with them. i celebrate my little accent (thankfully that i haven't lost).
but what i want to address is Suarez's actions in the game between Italy and Uruguay. he did get a four month suspension and my words probably don't change that. honestly it does not change how i view him. i feel that in times of desperation and on a world arena we all do things that are not a true reflection of who we are. however i still can defend the theory that it was an accident however this being not the first time i understand the punishment. was it excessive? yes. the man who broke neymar's vertabrea was not punished and he possibly could have ended neymar's career. all suarez did was leave a bite mark that was not huge and will not impact the players career.
anyways
the point of this blog is
that wherever you may be from or wherever you come from
cherish it
do things to make you feel closer to your culture
don't get lost in American culture
celebrate your own
it's something that makes you unique.
Monday, June 23, 2014
blog post six.
so i've gone through a course of many emotions in one day and i can't begin to explain them.
today my mom decided to take her boyfriends son and i to the park.
i can't lie i was excited and that might seem odd for the age we're in, in which electronics dominate every aspect of our lives especially social media.
however in that park i had the best memories. it was in those days where my problems were so small and i bought my old ipod with me which coincidentally hadn't been updated in forever.
anyways as i swung back and forth i remember being in middle school and swinging with my best friend and having competitions as to who can swing the highest and her dad teaching us both how to get a high swing. i shared these memories with my mom's boyfriends son and it kinda came alive.
the time i went before was after this amazing concert with my new best friend and it made me think of how much things really change.
let's put it this way
the last time i was on that swing i was maybe 13 or 14 and my best friend was sitting next to me and we listened to our ipods and unplugged ourselves from the world.
that time
i was no longer friends with the person i called my best friend. i was wearing a concert t-shirt from an artist i just met my first famous person and i had an entirely different best friend.
it seemed odd how much one place can hold so many memories. it honestly made me miss those days. i listened to music and it made me reflect on so many things. it makes me sick swinging to be honest but i've been going on the swings for such a long time that i ignore it and i allow the wind to blow past my face and let every song lyric hit me. it feels nice.
my point is things change a lot of things can change from one day to another but your memories never do. of course they fade but they never change and you can't live in them but sometimes it's okay to. i lived in that moment with my best friend i don't think it'll ever be the same but it was something i didn't think much of that now i do.
cherish everything even the small things because sometimes their the things that keep you together.
it's odd how much a old swing set can hold so many lessons and bring me closer to myself but it did, it honestly did.
Monday, June 9, 2014
blog post five.
i have a lot to say.
a lot of words to add to this lovely compilation that is called my life.
i've been learning a lot about myself through the way i react to things. i know that many people out there have struggles and growing up writing about them was always my outlet. i keep a diary that has every sad emotion i've ever felt. writing about it has been the key for me to move on from one page to the next in my life. perhaps people have different outlets of releasing emotions. there's a contructive way and a destructive way.
i not only wrote i drew and i sang. yes that included every justin bieber or taylor swift song that could possibly make me feel better. if i felt i could, i'd talk about it. my friends are honestly the best listeners. they listen to my long rambles from serious things to the most craziest ideas that come through my mind. i honestly am super thankful for them
but like i mentioned there's also destructive ways of releasing emotions that involve cutting and self harm. i can't say that i look at someone differently for doing. we all fight our own battles. we all have our own scars and we all face things with different prespectives. what i am about to say is redundant but there are other ways of letting go. believe me i know that cutting makes you feel in control of whatever you're going through but it's not the solution. it's a permanent fix ( scars) to a temporary problem. i know what it's like to go through the course of many emotions not that i can sit here and complain to you about my life, but i do not have the perfect life. i have my own things that i face. it's the way you face them that defines you. i understand those people who cut because they're afraid of telling people and i can indirectly relate seeing that i do not like telling my friends about all my problems. but sometimes they're the best outlet and if they're not because i can't tell them i write.
i even turned my emotions into poems. i have many friends who have done things like self harm and what i want people to understand is that they're will always be someone you can even contact me. i'm not judgemental i don't lead the perfect life so i'm noone to judge anyone.
then there's this other debate that crosses my mind.....
it's whether those battles or wounds or scars shape who you are.
it's whether they change you ...
i honestly couldn't tell you if after the things i've gone through in these 4 years of high school have changed me. i don't know if i'm the same person.
my mother argues that no one ever changes. my thing is perhaps a persons essence never changes but perhaps the experiences that you go through ( every war or battle) is what makes you a different person. maybe a friend lying makes you less trusting
or maybe losing a friend due to them moving makes you stronger
or maybe something that happened to you makes you want to change the world and help those who go through the same thing.
maybe it's just me but i think what i have gone through which one day i'll be strong enough to discuss is what made me stronger. i learned to value my friendships. i learned to be stronger. i learned that family is important. i also would do anything to start awareness for what those who are close to me have gone through.
the power of all the things that shape you is your choice.
you can make them something positive or negative but whatever it is please be strong.
please let it change you to be a better person even if it's hard
and if it doesn't try to find a way to release it.
life's too short.
if you ever need anyone i'm here.
a lot of words to add to this lovely compilation that is called my life.
i've been learning a lot about myself through the way i react to things. i know that many people out there have struggles and growing up writing about them was always my outlet. i keep a diary that has every sad emotion i've ever felt. writing about it has been the key for me to move on from one page to the next in my life. perhaps people have different outlets of releasing emotions. there's a contructive way and a destructive way.
i not only wrote i drew and i sang. yes that included every justin bieber or taylor swift song that could possibly make me feel better. if i felt i could, i'd talk about it. my friends are honestly the best listeners. they listen to my long rambles from serious things to the most craziest ideas that come through my mind. i honestly am super thankful for them
but like i mentioned there's also destructive ways of releasing emotions that involve cutting and self harm. i can't say that i look at someone differently for doing. we all fight our own battles. we all have our own scars and we all face things with different prespectives. what i am about to say is redundant but there are other ways of letting go. believe me i know that cutting makes you feel in control of whatever you're going through but it's not the solution. it's a permanent fix ( scars) to a temporary problem. i know what it's like to go through the course of many emotions not that i can sit here and complain to you about my life, but i do not have the perfect life. i have my own things that i face. it's the way you face them that defines you. i understand those people who cut because they're afraid of telling people and i can indirectly relate seeing that i do not like telling my friends about all my problems. but sometimes they're the best outlet and if they're not because i can't tell them i write.
i even turned my emotions into poems. i have many friends who have done things like self harm and what i want people to understand is that they're will always be someone you can even contact me. i'm not judgemental i don't lead the perfect life so i'm noone to judge anyone.
then there's this other debate that crosses my mind.....
it's whether those battles or wounds or scars shape who you are.
it's whether they change you ...
i honestly couldn't tell you if after the things i've gone through in these 4 years of high school have changed me. i don't know if i'm the same person.
my mother argues that no one ever changes. my thing is perhaps a persons essence never changes but perhaps the experiences that you go through ( every war or battle) is what makes you a different person. maybe a friend lying makes you less trusting
or maybe losing a friend due to them moving makes you stronger
or maybe something that happened to you makes you want to change the world and help those who go through the same thing.
maybe it's just me but i think what i have gone through which one day i'll be strong enough to discuss is what made me stronger. i learned to value my friendships. i learned to be stronger. i learned that family is important. i also would do anything to start awareness for what those who are close to me have gone through.
the power of all the things that shape you is your choice.
you can make them something positive or negative but whatever it is please be strong.
please let it change you to be a better person even if it's hard
and if it doesn't try to find a way to release it.
life's too short.
if you ever need anyone i'm here.
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