Thursday, May 7, 2015

blog post twelve.

as you may have noticed, I don't post much on here. typical life of a college student, however we procrastinate like crazy. I've been procrastinating this blog. honestly I didn't know what to make it about and the grammar will be guaranteed awful because I'm writing this from a cellular device. I apologize in advance to all my wonderful language arts teachers or english professors for this. anyways it's finals and last time it was finals I wrote about love. well this time won't be any different. I have a new perspective.... entirely new perspective. 

so being honest with you and myself, I've made a mistake. as a love stricken hopeless romantic I have made a huge mistake.. and although it may seem crazy I let things get to my head. I mean what eighteen year old girl doesn't? he was literally the wrong guy, but mindfully I would fill him with qualities I wanted that he didn't quite have and this was simply because this boy had an interest in me. this is a mistake of course. don't paint a picture of someone that's unrealistic, because we're all imperfect and that's okay. it's not his fault, nor mine but I don't think in my heart we would've been right for each other.

however, meet someone with meaningful qualities, meet someone who brings you joy and makes you actually want to be a better person. love isn't a game for just looks. I mean looks fade but does your heart fade? it doesn't it's always there with you. 

so here I am as well as you wondering where this blog is going. well let me begin by saying, don't rush things. in my heart I want a man, who will grow me spiritually, emotionally and mentally. yes, it is possibly a lot to ask for, but I will wait. 

I want to address another thing, since we are on the subject of love. at a young age, my mom divorced my dad. I simply grew up with my mother and I know that this isn't in the normal realm for some people. some of you had both parents, some of you had step parents and maybe some of you had a single parent. if you have a single parent you'll relate. even though my mom divorced my dad, I still believe that marriage is a beautiful thing and a one time commitment. I believe that marrying someone is not something you do for fun and get divorced but it's something you do once whole heartedly and fully. you give your heart and soul to one person, and that commitment should only be done ONCE. yes, you will have times that aren't the best, but that's what love is. love is simply sticking it out when it all goes wrong and taking the love you have for everyone and spreading it. I believe that finding your soulmate is something that takes times and maybe you'll go through a lot of wrong people but you get closer to knowing what you look for and closer to that person. This isn't to say that I don't believe that there are circumstances when divorces are appropriate, because there are. I do believe that people who are divorced deserve a second chance at love. I honestly believe like most things in life, deserves a second chance. I just firmly believe that before you make that commitment you have to make sure it's the right person. 

rather than looking at someone's traits simply get to know them. be with someone who fulfills you as a person and makes you want to be amazing. I also want to say that if you're like me and you love the concept of love. you like the cheesy romantic movies. you basically listen to love songs. then get this, you're surrounded by love. you have a family and a group of friends who care for you and you have a community who needs you. you are loved, rather then seeking it from exterior sources focus on what you have with you. I got caught up in so many things and when I think and pray for all the love I have from all the people I've met and all the joy they've bought me. do I really need anymore?

that's not to say I'm not human and I don't like anyone in a romantic form. it's simply saying focus on what you have and not worrying about what you don't have. everyday is a blessing. everyday you have choices and hopefully you make the ones that lead you towards that soulmate. so yes I do believe in soulmates and I do believe in forever. 

fun fact: on my right hand is my great grandfathers wedding band. he never took it off, when he passed away they had to literally cut the ring off. if that's not symbolic on how I feel about marriage then I honestly don't know what is? they had a love that was beautiful and I fully intend on doing the same.