Thursday, March 12, 2015

blog post eleven

I've had too many drafts of this post. I never want to be one to tell people what to believe because we all believe in different things and although I've lived in a small town I've known enough people to know that I respect everyone for their differences. meeting different people teach you to value your beliefs.

I've never been one to be ultra religious. it's not because I don't want to be it's simply because my relationship with religion is one that I feel is between myself and my religion. being quite honest, it took something impactful to happen to bring me closer to my religion.I'm catholic. in all honesty, as much as I didn't want this blog to be about my faith originally, but I want a way of tracking my own spiritual growth, and maybe this can help someone else who has been in the same situation I have been in. I think I should start from the beginning.

At a young age, I was sent to catholic school and in all honesty I had the most amazing faith in god. I had the most amazing priest and I can honestly say that I would have never chosen anyone different to be my spiritual guide. I learned a lot about God during this time, however, I was young and I completely always underestimated the power of prayer. I can honestly tell you all that as you get older you truly learn what religion is and it's something beautiful. having a relationship with god is something that is so special because it's so personal and god has been there through everything with me. he's been there at my absolute worse more than my absolute best and in all respect I believe I owe him  more than that. I want to continue my story however, and the reason is that too many events have happened today to actually make me want to blog about this.

As I moved away from my catholic school and towards my public one, all I had learned had slipped through my mind. this is unfortunate but regardless of this, God has given me so many constant blessings. I have so many things to be grateful for. I have so much liveliness despite all the things I've gone through. This isn't to say that I've gone through more than the average person, but it is to say that I have faced my own hardships. I have faced circumstances that I could not control, some that nearly broke me as a person, but I constantly went back to what I was taught. Regardless of myself straying from being as close, I really do believe that God has been there through absolutely everything I've gone through and he never presented me a challenge that I couldn't overcome. I can't be open about my challenges simply because they are all too personal, but I can tell you that it has shaped me to be strong. I would constantly tell my friends that I felt so alone but in all honesty today in adoration, I realized I never was alone and this made me cry because I have had always had God and I know he listens to what I have to say. I know he hears me. I know he sees me. I know that he understands what I say because just when I would think it was getting to be all too much, He would send me a sign.

Now I'm in college, and I've told this to you all in a separate blog and there is a catholic center.There are so many amazing people there. They're all super nice and it's nice to be able to go deeper into my relationship with God while making friendships. The absolute turning point was this winter break. I had an unfortunate event happen in my life. I was in New Orleans. My mom decided to take me to a cathedral. I sat there and just had this honest conversation with God thanking him and asking him to help me through what I was going through and like always I got an answer. I sat there crying because things were seemingly too hard. However in a sense through everything God has held my hand and led me in the right direction. As I learn more about God, the more I want to strive to be a better person.

The reason my day relates to this is because:
1) My mom called me today and we talked about faith and she told me that she always wants be to be better than she is. She wants me to have more faith. It's only fair that I honor her wish not only for her but for myself.
2) Today, I met this wonderful professor who has been such an absolute help. Despite me feeling that being undeclared in college has been an absolute question mark she has presented me answers ones that are determining my future. I believe God placed her in my life because I asked one of the most common questions: What is my future going to look like?
3) I sat outside today and admired the little things and I sat with my friend and all we talked about was our conflicts. I turned to her and said: " But can you believe how good we still have it?" and she agreed. Sometimes we always get caught up in so many different things and we forget the small things, we forget our spirituality, and most importantly we always forget to be grateful.

I'm not catering this blog to only Catholics. It's hard for me to express this in any other way, but through everything you may go through. I hope that your spirituality or religion guides you as God has guided me. I am absolutely grateful for all the blessings and the education I receive. I hope that God can take the love I have for him and hand it to other people. I hope that religion is a way for me to constantly become a better person. I strive to be a better person and I believe that even through my faith was tested in all my challenges just as I was regaining  a stronger one I never lost it. I hope you never lose faith in whatever you may believe in. Whatever keeps you closest to your spiritual peace hold it close to you good or bad things may happen in life, but that is one thing that never changes.