hello, i haven't done a blog since last year. if anyone has actually been keeping up with my page (which i doubt) then i apologize ( just in case).
if any of you know me well , not a lot of you do. then you'll know my next year at this time. i will be in college. sounds lovely right? freedom and the ability to not be micromanaged by your parents. it's not all that great.
the applying process is stressful.
but this blog isn't aimed at the struggles of applying for college cause that would be flat out boring.
at the age of five a little girl who danced in the kitchen had a dream of being a popstar. she had an american idol karaoke machine and stole her mother's michael jackson cd. she thought that she would sell out arena's and be known worldwide.
that girl was me and that dream stuck with me. anyways you're probably wondering why am i not doing what i want to do? right well it's a simple answer: i can't sing. no one had the heart of telling me i couldn't
i once read an article about how people often times hear their voice the way they want to hear it as supposed to reality. well that's me.
i thought i was wonderful however absolutely terrified of singing in front of people. i made honor chorus (b/c they didn't have people) and the talent show (b/c it was a duet) anyways, my point in this is.
i'm a dreamer. i have the craziest ideas floating in my mind and i have to conform them for college right? and not knowing what you want in college is frustrating. i gave up the dream of singing because i realizied it was a dream that wasn't meant for me and i don't mean to ruin your disney fantasies about making your dreams come true. that isn't my intention. i'm a firm believer that if you put work into something it will pay back. believe me.
my point in this blog is to discuss how things don't always turn out how you want them to and that's a part of life. my mom and i have gotten into a series of arguements over this very subject. she rolls her eyes at my career options and i know she doesn't do it to be mean just simply because she wants me to have a secure future.
the thing is as i mentioned before. i'm the biggest dreamer. i have the biggest imagination and i can't see myself in a average job and that might be my biggest downfall in the future but what i'm getting at is that there's a divide between being a dreamer and reality.
i know i can't sing but i also know that i want to work with musically gifted people. i want to know what floats around their mind when they pen a song or what is the message of their album.
i can't lie the little girl with the american idol karaoke machine still exists within me
she comes alive and she doesn't care if she can't sing.
maybe this blog post is unclear because honestly as much as i want to paint you and myself a clear picture of my future i can't. i've gone through a lot figuring it out.
i don't want anyone to feel bad for not knowing what they want to do.
i know how it is everyone's like : i'm going to be a doctor or a lawyer but it's okay to not know.
believe me a lot of people have told me it's okay to not know (it's hard to believe) but you'll get through it.
i'm still learning about it.
xoxo.
jackie
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