Monday, May 12, 2014

blog post one.

third of janurary two thousand fourteen

so i'd like to begin blogging and i'm not exactly sure in what i'm trying to accomplish in this. i hope it doesn't end up being long rants.

have you ever felt alone as if no one understood you? we all tend to feel that way at times so i figured that maybe if i share how i encounter my own teenage life someone could relate and possibly say "i'm not so alone" and perhaps that is what i'm trying to accomplish or maybe piece together my own life experiences.

so as you all know from my prior posts i met a boy. and of course like most girls or prior crushes of my own i thought he was "different". he also read the fault in our stars and we enjoyed a lovely conversation. he gave me a hug. he helped me in math , the whole nine yards. and you're probably wondering what i'm trying to get at here.

but let me begin by explaining that i'm usually the girl who's way too busy for guys and that i don't let boys consume me. but he did he honestly did. i even changed a little but i'm probably missing the most important part of the story where multiple people tell the girl to stay away from the boy because he's no good and she didn't listen of course. i'd usually be the girl telling the friend to stay away and wonder why she isn't listening to me but now i found myself at the other end of the stick as the girl who wouldn't stay away even if her best friends told her he was no good.

well since i met this boy he did bring out some good it wasn't entirely crushing or heart breaking as a matter of fact i acknowledge the fact that i'm at the point where the girl is first broken by him but she still believes he's different and my mind knows he isn't but the heart wants what it wants.
but anyways back to the changes. i stopped obsessing over harry styles. i have nothing against being a total fan girl but it was so good to have something real even if it was for a moment. it was good not reading imagines or knowing where harry styles was at every moment and what he was doing or who he was doing it with and that was good too i actually lived my life and i was 

 not obsessing over a boyband was a good thing. i can only take away good things. even if he might not like me. even if it wasn't meant to be.

he had me fooled and it was so consuming i wish i could describe it any other way but that's the only word. every song and it wasn't quite like any other boy but it was so good to focus on school .

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